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Jollification for weeks on end
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| And lo, there came a still, small voice. And it said "eep" |
[10 Jan 2011|07:25pm] |
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mood |
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 stressed |
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I'm back! I spent Wednesday-Sunday at JMU for another session of intense 8-5 lecture-listening. 8( I have never felt so overwhelmed by information. Imagine a room full of tech-savvy people, most if not all of whom are in the top percentile bracket for intelligence (I'm not bragging here -- but the room was full of smarties, what else can I say?). Now imagine all of them slack-jawed and googly-eyed and glazed-over due to information overload and utter confusion. That would be the picture of my class Wednesday through Sunday.
You'd think building a database would be fairly simple, right? Create records, link to specific subjects, define keywords, etc. Yeah, turns out creating a database of any sort of collection is MIND-BOGGLING COMPLICATED. Our professor said at the start of the sessions that by no means would we understand much of anything by the time we left, and that we should expect our brains to be oatmeal, and he wasn't kidding. Metadata, reciprocity, schemes, authorized content, thesauri, F.I.S.A., general/domain/sys/info-seek, classification, authority control, entities, attributes, values, AACR, collocation....and that's just a tip of the jargon iceberg. And apparently the term "keywords" is anathema.
And this jargon iceberg is MASSIVE. The whole library science field is jargon, practically, and the jargon all defines OTHER jargon. Term = term = term = term.
I was confident going into this semester that I could RULE THE WORLD, I was doing so well, and the last semester was pretty much a cake walk. Well, the cake walk has turned into a hike to Mt. Doom. And Mt. Doom is my IOP semester-long project of creating a database, making it work with the collection I've chosen to index (that may or may not be the correct term) (I have decided to create a MST3K database), and THEN the project consists of a 35-page paper detailing HOW the database works, and the professor should be able to pretty much build the database just from reading the paper. Also, there are a flobbity-jillion appendices and sometimes one appendix will then spawn another appendix. The professor had to create a flow-chart across the ENTIRE WHITEBOARD detailing each section of the paper, and what pages would spawn what reports and appendices and other sub-databases.
...
...
...
8(
So yeah. Remember that list of optimistic 25 things I want to accomplish in 2011? That's going to get a whole lot harder. But I'm hanging in there. I've possibly got a small paid writing gig in the works, I requested information about child sponsorship, and I'm slowly working on ways to accomplish other goals. I want to do things outside of myself, and I want to be more engaged in my world, and I want to be a positive force. That takes quite a bit of effort, but I'm sticking with it, and even if I'm a still, small positive force, a still small positive force is better than a negative force, or a force that simply does nothing. A non-force.
Still picking at chapped lips. Oh well.
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| 25 Things |
[29 Dec 2010|08:38pm] |
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I'll be turning 25 in 2011. I have decided that instead of the routine try-to-read-50-or-100-books goal, I'm going to mix things up a bit by creating a list of 25 things I'd like to try to accomplish (this means that to a certain extent trying counts even if I am unsuccessful) (that is, as long as the trying really was trying -- it has to be a legitimate effort, self) by the end of 2011.
25. Read all of Proust's In Search of Lost Time
24. Read 50 books (including Proust)
23. Continue my 4.0 GPA in grad school
22. Get something published (poem, essay, short story -- it's been a year or so since anything was accepted...and about a year or so since I really submitted anything, so...yeah -- methinks a *bit* more effort is required)
21. Teach Neville the "bang bang!" dog trick
20. Write one new short story
19. Learn to drive stick
18. Begin sponsoring a child
17. Make more use of footnotes (perhaps to replace my overuse of parentheticals)
16. Get Patrick to watch The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi (I mean really, come on, this should not have to be on a to-do list...I feel like [HIMYM] Ted with Stella sometimes on this issue...*eyeroll* My 15-year-old self is disappointed in me! How could I have married a boy who hasn't ever seen all of the original trilogy?!?!?! Old news to IRL people, but not sure if I've mentioned that travesty to LJ...) ^1
15. Return my library books on time, or no more than 1 week late (I am a librarian, and I AM THE WORST BORROWER. THE WORST, I TELL YOU. Currently, I cannot renew any of my items online because there's a block on my account because I owe too much money because of fines...woops)
14. Paint the bathroom and/or hallway
13. Write a novel (hey, a resolution/to do list has to have SOME things you're sure you won't actually achieve on it, right?) (on the bright side, whole different novel idea brewing...you know....again)
12. Write entries in my handwritten journal more than twice a month (I have handwritten journals dating back to fourth grade...pity to let that habit die)
11. Attend Quaker meeting/First Day at least once just to see what it's like and to see if I want to continue going
10. Go to the Baltimore Aquarium (we keep putting it off)
9. Spend more quality time at the VMFA. For pete's sake, it's right down the street and free and, you know, FULL OF ART. I should go there every morning just because I can, but I haven't been since August. :[
8. Use less sugar in my tea
7. Stop picking at lips (toughest goal on the list)
6. Start putting together albums of photo prints (Facebook's not gonna be around forever, yo)
5. Try not to experience too much glee in watching 16 & Pregnant/Teen Mom (on second thought, maybe this will be the toughest goal on the list)
4. Read a book by an author I think I'll hate
3. Go to Lamplighter more often for coffee (provided they get my orders right more often....perhaps Give Lamplighter Another Chance would be more appropriate)
2. Reduce the number of malapropisms appearing in my vocabulary as of late (not sure how this can be accomplished precisely...watch less of The Office? No problem once Carell leaves.)
1. Wear sunscreen ;)
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1. I should mention that before I ever realized he hadn’t seen the trilogy, I went on happily making obscure Star Wars reference in everyday conversation, and he would smile and nod. Now I know they were whooshing right over his head. All of those “I’m fine, we’re all fine..here…now….how are you?”’s went to waste, waste I tell you! I mean, I just sort of assumed he'd seen them all. I thought it was a fair assumption. At least he likes Indiana Jones and can quote that liberally...and thank goodness Temple of Doom isn't his favorite or I just don't know how our marriage could survive. Last Crusade FOR LYFE
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| Year in review (book edition), part the fourth: YA |
[15 Dec 2010|11:42am] |
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mood |
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I read a fair bit of YA. I enjoy it. I want to stay fairly current in the library field in terms of youth services, and I'm a member of YALSA (they have a booklist here: http://www.ala.org/ala/mgrps/divs/yalsa/booklistsawards/booklistsbook.cfm). So with that, I give you my list of favorite YA books that I read in 2010. Note that this doesn't mean the book was published in 2010. Just that I read it in 2010.
1. 
What I Saw And How I Lied
This is a really good historical coming-of-age YA novel. Set in 1947, the story follows Evie as her family travels to Palm Beach for the summer. What at first might appear to be a vacation soon reveals itself to be much more complex. Evie finds herself privy to bits of information, and gleans more and more, and slowly dips her toes into the adult world of secrets and love. Really, it's a small mystery historical coming-of-age novel, so it really spans several genres. I found Evie to be a very believable character as she fumbles to act more like a grown woman than the young girl she really is, and the story doesn't waste time in the telling. There are undercurrents of deeper meaning laced throughout, and themes of race, class, and gender roles crop up -- this is a thoughtful, intelligent and well-told tale. There's a reason this is a National Book Award winner.
2. 
The Whale Rider (book)
Whale Rider (film)
I've talked about this book before, and I haven't re-read it since I last wrote about it in very early 2010, so I'll just post a link to my review here, as it's long, and includes video clips and a discussion/comparison-contrast of book vs. film. I'll simply note that it's showing up on my most-loved list for a reason: it's really, really good.
3. 
The Summer Before (Babysitters Club)
Okay, so while I wouldn't put this in the pile of Deeply Intelligent And High Concept YA Fiction, who doesn't like a bit o' fluff every so often? As an adult, I still got a wee kick out of reading a BSC prequel. I loved the BSC, although not quite as much as I loved the Saddle Club books -- and ghostwriters, I loved you too, even when you made such egregious errors in continuity here and there! I just want to go on record to say that I read a good number of upper-level books as a tween, but I loved my standard YA fare too. I must have gone through the library collection of BSC and SC several times over. CLAUDIA AND MARY ANNE (and Stevie from SC) FOR LYFE.
*ahem* So there was a good nonsensical ramble. Let me get back on track. This book was a fun little trip in the wayback machine, and I think it's a good little set of interlocking stories about the BSC characters right on the verge of becoming tweens, just finding out their personalities (in Stacey's case, her personality is DIABETES DIABETES DIABETES -- god, she still annoys me to death just as much as she did when I was younger...and I have a brother with diabetes now, so it's not that I'm insensitive, but DANG GIRL GET A GRIP AND REALIZE YOUR ENTIRE PERSONALITY DOES NOT HAVE TO BE "DIABETES GIRL"!). I think the book really works on two separate levels: it's rather fun for people who grew up with the series because it's a prequel, and it's good for new/current readers because it all fits in just fine.
All in all: fun. Also, for all the old-school BSC people out there, have you seen the blog What Claudia Wore ? Awesome.
4. Oh yeah, there was the culmination of the Hunger Games Trilogy in 2010. I've reviewed
the first one here.
For Mockingjay (The Final Book of The Hunger Games) , I will say that I enjoyed it. I know some folks have problems with the story, but I loved it. I think the way in which Collins shows the utter lack of control Katniss has over her lot in life is quite well done. At first, the seemingly endless number of times Katniss would wake up having missed something really important frustrated me, but I quickly realized that Collins was using the mechanism as a way to show her lack of control and vulnerability in the midst of war. Katniss may be the Mockinjay, but she's a tool, and the lack of direct action on her part sometimes when it's out of her control shows that. (I worded that awkwardly. Oops.) I think throughout the series I was also really impressed with the use of Heymitch and how that character developed and morphed. Finally, I really appreciated the epilogue. Unlike the infamous Harry Potter fanfic epilogue, this one was realistic.
Does the fact that Katniss does end up fulfilling the standard women's-role of having children and settling down bother me? No. In this case, it feels right and good. It doesn't feel forced. I appreciate the fact that the children aren't all named after characters who were killed previously in homage. I think it shows a sense of distance between Katniss and her chaotic youth. And people change as they grow older -- she didn't want children when she was younger, but that change makes sense within the confines of the book, and as I said, it doesn't feel contrived to me, as though Collins thought she HAD to in order to wrap everything up neatly with a bow on top (*cough JKR*). I'm satisfied.
I am a bit annoyed at the current casting business for the upcoming Hunger Games films -- am I recalling correctly that in the books the District 12 people are generally described as having olive skin, dark hair, grey or dark eyes...and yet very very very white people are being cast? The whitewashing of the cast is troubling.
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| Year in review (book edition), part the third: Nonfiction |
[08 Dec 2010|01:30pm] |
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I read quite a bit on nonfiction in 2010. The highlights are as follows. Honestly, these could easily be the best books I read in 2010, period, between fiction, nonfiction, and YA together.
1. 
This Book Is Overdue!: How Librarians and Cybrarians Can Save Us All
I'm totally biased in my opinion about this book, I'm sure. After all, I'm working towards my MLIS. It's definitely a book that paints librarians in a super positive light -- superHERO-positive, really. The book is witty, informative, and it's a really human look at how the librarians of today function in the digital world they now must work in. The book covers a wide variety of topics, including the PATRIOT Act and how libraries fought back (excerpt: During the height of the debate about the Patriot Act, some librarians posted signs that were "technically legal," slyly warning patrons that their privacy might be compromised: "THE FBI HAS NOT BEEN HERE (watch very closely for the removal of this sign)"), as well as chapters on how librarians are using Second Life to their full advantage, and there's a whole chapter entirely devoted to the vast amount of librarian blogs out there, many witty in their defiance against the stereotypical schoolmarm image, many snarky, and all with something to say (often, that something to say involves...poop in the stacks?). On a more serious note, space is also given to how cyber librarians (cybrarians) are able to help underdeveloped countries with their skills. All in all, the book is a well-rounded and witty look at a profession that all too often has been stereotyped by that famous scene in It's a Wonderful Life where we find out with HORROR that Mary, had she not met George, would have become......a librarian!
GASP. NO!
But this book challenges that, and says OH BUT YES! YES INDEED.
2. 
The Holy Vote: The Politics of Faith in America
(This is a recycled review, since I talked about this book way back in the beginning of 2010...and it still remains one of the best nonfiction books I read in 2010): Ray Suarez -- of NPR's Talk of the Nation -- moves fluidly from many different angles on the debate of where religion and faith belong in politics. This is not a "Here's what I think" book, so much as a "Here's what a lot of different people from a lot of different angles and perspectives/views think" which was refreshing because it really lets the reader in on multiple angles through the tons of different interviews.
The book covers a variety of issues, including gay marriage, abortion, the Ten Commandments, the Constitution, prayer in schools, political candidates and faith as running tool, politics and church in general, morals, Alabama, and a number of other topics as well. Each chapter is devoted to a different issue, although there is some overlap because, as in life, many things are connected, and there are subtleties in every issue that's examined. His explanations of conservative Christian ideas don't simply stop and end with "For the Bible tells me so" as the reason for their thinking on every issue, and really digs deep, and by the same token doesn't say that more liberal non-religious members of society aren't necessarily trying to "Kick God out of school." He takes a good long look at issues and dissects them as neatly as possible.
Suarez interviews numerous different people, ranging all over the place from Popes to Evangelical pastors to atheists in Alabama to political leaders on both sides to political and religious pundits, authors, and beyond. The final chapter jumps around a bit, but overall, the book's multiple interviews mesh well with each other. The book's tone is quite bipartisan, and overall he doesn't set out to smash one side or the other -- Suarez has a cheeky comment every so often in regards to some irony or another, but even those are benign and the overall tone is very much "Can we try to see what everyone is thinking, why they're thinking it, and what the consequences are and could possibly be, and how we might approach things differently?" instead of "These people think this and are crazy, and these people think this and are sane." I'd definitely recommend it to both conservative, liberal, religious and non-religious friends alike.
3. 
Jesus Land: A Memoir
This book is not what you might think -- this is not a similar tale to that of Jesus Camp despite a similar title and a jacket that might suggest a summer camp setting. This book is a memoir by Julia Scheeres, who grew up with two adopted black brothers in the 1970s in Indiana, though the story particularly centers on Julia and David (youngest adopted son) and their story. The book is both the story of a brother and sister's undying love for each other despite a family that tried to tear them apart and abused them both (though in different ways -- remember, she was a biological child in her family, he was the black adopted son, and their treatment differed). They both face prejudice, and there is abuse at home. However, what really makes this story stand out is the point at which Julia and David find themselves sent off to a Christian Dominican boarding correction school. Or rather, David finds himself shipped there, and Julia follows, choosing to have herself sent there as well rather than spend her time at home alone with David suffering by himself. There, they slave like animals, and are abused even more. And the end will just shatter your heart into slivers. And I really don't say that lightly. Months have passed, and still looking at the cover, I feel emotional -- and this is a frank telling, not at all playing for sympathy, and the writing is neither flowery nor excessive in its descriptions of abuse and hatred.
This book is heartbreaking. But this is not a sentimental book. The writing is not sentimentalized. At the core of the story is not a theme of abuse or lack of Christian love, but a story of a great prevailing affection between a brother and sister. It is a warm root in the midst of a very cold book. Read it.
It is here on Google Books (though the narrative starts on page 4...missing 1-3, but a good deal of the rest seems available)
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| Year in review (book edition), part the second: Fiction |
[07 Dec 2010|07:16pm] |
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My top 3 "adult" fiction books that I read in 2010 (I will do Young Adult as a separate genre in another post, hence why The Hunger Games Trilogy isn't appearing on this list)
1. 
Women Without Men: A Novel of Modern Iran by Shahrnush Parsipur
I found this novella to be quite interesting and rather delightful and at the same time so simple, like warm bread with spiced tea. Magical realism plays a huge part in the story of how several women travel down different roads to escape the confines of their home situations, and all finally arrive at a wonderful house with a garden, where one woman eventually becomes a tree in the garden. Specifically, the story follows two unmarried women, one prostitute, a wife, and a teacher. The story focuses on gender inequality and cultural norms in Iran, but while that may sound dry and academic, the story reads like a small little magical parable. A fairy tale, if you will, but a fairy tale with very clear counterparts in reality. It's very short and so makes for an easy read, and Parsipur's turn of phrase is delightful and thought-provoking.
Bonus: almost the whole book is available via Google Books
2. 
A Death in the Family by James Agee
We are talking now of summer evenings in Knoxville, Tennessee, in the time that I lived there so successfully disguised to myself as a child.
So begins Agee's A Death in the Family, a story that follows the aftermath of what happens to a small family when the father suddenly dies. The prose is stunning in its simplicity, as you can note in the sentence above. How stunning and beautiful is that? so successfully disguised to myself as a child. If you have read Agee's Let Us Now Praise Famous Men, you will know that Agee rambles a bit, going from here to there and all around. But his rambling is stunning. It is worthwhile rambling. And the times when he is precise are just as stunning. The book deals with the issue of religion in the face of tragedy, but not in the usual Biblical Job way at all. It is not so much a novel as it is a very long succession of prose poetry. Simply put, it is a masterpiece. Read it. Go.
You can start reading it for free here on Google Books.
3. 
Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro
The book is heartbreakingly eerily bleak and wrenching while at the same time very quiet, and very thought-provoking. The film is just bleak. I think the important thing I want to stress here is that if you're intrigued by the film, read the book, and honestly, if you must see the film, then see it, but let it be known that I warned you.
A quick summary for those unfamiliar: Kathy H. is the narrator, and she tells us the story of her life as she nears the time for her to start making her "donations" -- it is left ambiguous from the beginning of the novel as to what the donations entail, and throughout the story, more and more becomes (rather horrifyingly, if predictably) clear. We begin at an imagined boarding school in England for special students, called Hailsham. At first, it is rather idyllic, with certain earmarks of the typical boarding school setting, but as the story progresses and Kathy H. looks back on different events, things become much darker than they first appear, and the "specialness" of the students slowly is revealed, along with their futures. I felt at some points that I was a few steps ahead of the characters, but I also feel that, thinking back, that was the intention of Ishiguro's pacing. The mystery of Madame is, I feel, what really drives the plot more and more, even as it settles into the background to a certain extent, because it's always there, lingering in the back of the mind. This is the flaw of the film -- it doesn't emphasize the mystery enough so that at the end, the "reveal" isn't really as striking. I don't want to give away the story here, which is why I'm being so vague in this review. Suffice it to say that I highly recommend the book. I found it thought-provoking and eerie, and I think it would appeal to people who enjoy horror (this is psychological, really, and not at all graphic in terms of the horror -- very textbook) (which in itself becomes part of the horror), thrillers (it's not fast-paced in the least, but I think the conceptual style might appeal), and general fiction, particularly science-likers.
Well, that was an abysmal review. But it really was good. I swear. It is its quiet nature which sets it apart as so very eerie, I think.
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| Year in review (book edition), part the first |
[06 Dec 2010|07:59pm] |
First semester of grad school: accomplished with style and panache, if I do say so myself.
SLIS 5000 -- Info Professions: A
SLIS 5600 -- Info Access and Retrieval: A (unless I did that final as-yet-ungraded bibliography on reference services for people with disabilities entirely, dreadfully, terribly, utterly wrong...)
So, with that out of the way, I can devote some time to the important things in life: BOOKS (as if library science school weren't entirely devoted to some semblance of that subject...)
Mainly, the books I've read in 2010 so far. My goal at the beginning of the year was to read 100 books in 2010. Sadly, I've come up lacking on that goal, but my defense is that at the beginning of 2010, I hadn't really seen grad school in my imminent future (at least for 2010, anyway). At this point, I am in the middle of reading books 49 and 50 (Shadow & Claw: The First Half of 'The Book of the New Sun' (Book of the Long Sun)
and Swann's Way (Remembrance of Things Past, Volume One) , respectively) So, 48 books have been completed this year. Not bad. Not as good as I had hoped, but...well, I could have done worse. I refuse to see my 50% completion rate as failure, no matter what the standard grading rubric would see it as!
So, I figured from now until 2011, I'll start listing my favorite books of the year. But first, a rundown of the books finished:
1. In the Shadow of No Towers
2. Little House in the Big Woods Book and Charm (Charming Classics)
3. What I Saw And How I Lied
4. The Whale Rider
5. Little Town on the Prairie (Little House)
6. I Am America (And So Can You!)
7. The Road
8. The Holy Vote: The Politics of Faith in America
9. Food Inc.: A Participant Guide: How Industrial Food is Making Us Sicker, Fatter, and Poorer-And What You Can Do About It
10. The Sandman Vol. 2: The Doll's House
11. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (Book 6)
12. The Sandman Vol. 3: Dream Country
13. Push: A Novel
14. Lipstick Jihad: A Memoir of Growing up Iranian in America and American in Iran
15. Altared: Bridezillas, Bewilderment, Big Love, Breakups, and What Women Really Think About Contemporary Weddings
16. Wishful Drinking
17. Well-Behaved Women Seldom Make History
18. Truth & Beauty: A Friendship
19. All Families are Psychotic: A Novel
20. Stones into Schools: Promoting Peace with Education in Afghanistan and Pakistan
21. Women Without Men: A Novel of Modern Iran
22. I See By My Outfit
23. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (Book 7)
24. Anansi Boys: A Novel (P.S.)
25. The Hunger Games: Book 1
26. In the Land of Believers: An Outsider's Extraordinary Journey into the Heart of the Evangelical Church
27. The Lovely Bones
28. Microserfs: A Novel (P.S.)
29. Lucky: A Memoir
30. A Death in the Family (Penguin Classics)
31. Traveling Mercies: Some Thoughts on Faith
32. Grace (Eventually): Thoughts on Faith
33. Water for Elephants: A Novel
34. The Commitment: Love, Sex, Marriage, and My Family
35. Jesus Land: A Memoir
36. Animal, Vegetable, Miracle: A Year of Food Life (P.S.)
37. 102 Minutes: The Untold Story of the Fight to Survive Inside the Twin Towers
38. Mockingjay (The Final Book of The Hunger Games)
39. Skipping Towards Gomorrah
40. The Summer Before
41. Catching Fire (The Second Book of the Hunger Games)
42. Never Let Me Go
43. Songs Without Words (Vintage Contemporaries)
44. The Unlikely Disciple: A Sinner's Semester at America's Holiest University
45. Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman's Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia
46. This Book Is Overdue!: How Librarians and Cybrarians Can Save Us All
47. A Visit from the Goon Squad
48. The Jane Austen Book Club: A Novel
Aaaaand that's it. My goal for 2011 is to read all of Proust's In Search of Lost Time/Remembrance of Things Past. We'll see how much other reading I get done around that, though I expect to desire a certain amount of fluff to supplement Proust... (I should note, there's a fair bit of fluff in the above reading list -- some books I read particularly because a lot of words seem to be devoted to criticizing them -- Eat, Pray, Love as a prime example -- and I figured I should be informed about the content if I want to participate in discussion...)
Looking at my 2010 reading list as a whole, I can see some general themes. I think this year in general I've been focused a great deal on politics, food, and religion (though, really, aren't most people interested in those general ideas?) (and YA lit, in part because of the direction I want to go in regarding my MLIS) -- I've felt more and more drawn to Quaker faith and practice throughout the year. I've not gone to any meetings yet, as I've not quite drawn up the courage (having been put off from religious gatherings for a while, it is to a certain degree daunting to jump back into some semblance of spirituality, particularly when it's a sect I've not been versed in the same way I was versed in Presbyterian teaching growing up). It's a bit different, and while the RVA Quaker websites seem inviting enough...it still seems to be taking me a bit of time to get over the meeting-new-people-in-a-religious-meeting anxiety, also in part because I don't know really if I totally subscribe to Quaker faith and practice yet. I subscribe to a bit of it in general, from my readings. But still...I feel like I want to do more general studying on the matter. I don't know, really. We'll see what happens in 2011 with that, I suppose.
Ultimately, I think my reluctance to jump back into anything conventionally spiritual (inasmuch as Quakerism can be called "conventional") relates to the fact that growing up, I wasn't really given a choice. Going to church was absolutely mandatory. I was forced to go to youth group meetings whether I wanted to (whether I was in tears about it, as was the case sometimes) or not. My freedom of choice about my religion was, I suppose, technically open in the house...but to be realistic, it's rather difficult to express any other religious belief when you are absolutely required to be in the family car going to a specific church every Sunday morning and other events as dictated. So I feel really, really, really reluctant to jump into anything now that I'm an adult given the opportunity to make my own choices. I want to study, study, study before making any sort of commitment, even something as simple as going to a First Day meeting. I want to take full charge of my beliefs, and to me that means, well, studying because I actually have power over the choice this time. Honestly, sometimes I feel really, really grateful for the religious homeschooling upbringing I had, but still do feel almost resentful at times that I was given no choice in anything. I realize to a certain extent that as a child, that's not really a common right, but at the same time, when I became cognizant of the fact that I didn't want to participate, I wish I had been given a little more religious freedom, even the freedom to be like "Hey, I'm trying to figure this out" without the pressure to conform on Sundays.
Because you can't really go to church and be a member and then be like "But hey, I don't know if I believe all of this." I mean, you can I'm sure, but when you're a teenager, it just means people will talk to your parents and say they're worried about your spiritual state or something. You either conform, or get the eyeball and talks. I felt like I was being forced to choose between being a hypocrite by pretending at worship and Sunday school and such, or...well, that was really the only option I was given, and it frankly angered me that I was being told to (as I felt) conform and be a hypocrite, because you're going here whether you like it or not.
I love my parents (and family as a whole). I have few complaints. So, if they're snooping (it's not really snooping though, since this is unlocked!), they should know that I love them very much, and really do appreciate the upbringing that I was given, because warts aside (and what upbringing doesn't have warts, or worse?) it was pretty rad. Especially the whole hippie Volkswagon bus thing. That was super rad. Ditto the homeschooling (warts and all). I am very lucky to have had the upbringing I had -- privileged and lucky.
But I'm rambling a bit, here. My main point on my...spiritual ~*~*journey~*~* is that, well, we'll see where that goes. But I am taking the going slowly and studiously.
As for food...I'm eating less meat, haven't eaten fast food in about 6 months, and that 6 month break was out of necessity during a road trip. And just regular day-to-day food has changed for me too -- like I said, less meat, more local food, etc. etc. etc. *hipster ramblings*. I still want to be a beekeeper someday (one of those hip urban ones -- beekeeping has become the new urban-chicken-keeping, hasn't it?), but I'd have to see about that whole allergy sitch...
And as for politics, I've probably written enough about that here to be able to skip it for now (if you're still reading at this point, wow). :P
Coming up in the next weeks: reviews of the best books I read in 2010. Hold onto your pants, I know, it really will be that amazing.
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| A change of pace |
[17 Nov 2010|08:39pm] |
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Everything but the Horse
I came by this book at the bookstore today, and it is simply charming. Firstly, the watercolor illustrations are so sweet without being schmaltzy. They're absolutely endearing. I grew up a horse-lover* (still am, probably will be forever, although I am not, as is the case of the young protagonist, still checking out library books about horses so I can practice drawing them) (notice I said still there....this was a part of my regular library-going routine as a child) so this book caught my eye partly because of the subject, but the illustrations were what caused me to crack the spine.
And then there's the story itself. It's all there -- the starry-eyed dreaming when watching other girls with their own horses. Not angry-jealousy just....wishful, wishful, wishful thinking (if wishes were horses, amirite?). The plotting of how to get one. The drawing of horses from library books. The yearning and hoping as the birthday arrives.
But there's a twist with this Girl And Her Horse storybook (I think the Girl And Her Horse -- GAHH -- motif is similar to the Boy And His Dog -- BAHD -- motif). That birthday surprise waiting at the end of the book....is not a horse, and the girl isn't overcome with grief, and she doesn't go on with some elaborate money-making scheme to eventually get the horse she dreams of herself. She is given a bike, and she loves the bike, and rides off happily down the lane after christening it. She is happy and content, and we see her happily riding the bike down the lane with the horse farm.
I am so happy to come across a children's book about the desire of a horse that doesn't end with the protagonist somehow getting the Horse Of Her (and it's usually a Her) Dreams. In Everything But The Horse, she isn't gifted one. She doesn't buy one with some magically earned money (I never got this as a kid -- I knew from reading the Penny Power ads each week and circling all of the Free To Good Home horses that it wasn't the horse that was necessarily expensive, it was the upkeep). Her family doesn't move to a place with the land (actually, they're already on a farm...hence the barn). It isn't won in a contest, or rounded up on Pony Penning Day (oh hey, shoutout to my homeisland).
She gets a bike. And that's okay. It's not a sad ending, or a letdown. It's reality. And it's sweet and nicely done.
I can file this away in my continuing folder of Books I Will Buy For Future Children, Why Yes I Am Book Shopping Years Ahead
Summary: charming
*Aren't *most* girls horse lovers when they're young? I mean, in the circles I ran in, they certainly were, and if YA lit is any indication...
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| The dog-person librarian |
[09 Nov 2010|08:51pm] |
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Almost all the library students and super-bookish folks I know tend to be cat people, not dog people.
I hate cats.
Okay, maybe I don't hate cats. But I am not fond of cats. Well, I mean, I really just wouldn't be fond of *owning* a cat. I don't mind visiting someone who has cats, I like playing with them (any animal that bats at a piece of string is fun in my eyes) and I think they are especially ceeeeeyewt at little kittens, and they are not bad self-kept critters.
But I could never own a cat.
I am a dog person. And I am pretty quiet and I like writing and coffee and tea and listening to classical music and reading books and keeping things in some semblance of order (I think I just heard my mother faint miles away).
I love the goofy way my dog tilts his huge-eared head and rrrruffs all big-dog like when he is so little and short, and I love that mostly he will forget to pick *up* the ball when I throw it, and will instead run after it, get to it, and then gleefully run back to me, leaving the ball there. He is a mess, and he has his very own cardboard box in our room that he is allowed to chew apart (and has, everywhere), and he still isn't entirely potty-trained so I'm always cleaning up accidents, and I really don't care, because he just melts my heart. I miss this little guy so much when I'm at work. (Then I get home and his little bunny-butt wiggles with joy, and after a bit I get irritated that he will not stop herding my ankles.) He is much more outgoing than I am, and he is forcing me to be super outgoing to everyone in our neighborhood because everyone wants to stop and play with him on walks.
I think my love of dogs is similar to how I am with friends (not that I treat my friends like dogs, and thank goodness my friends don't piddle on the floor) (well, maybe some people -- not my friends -- did at the old band house...sigh). (Aside: The Nightmare House on Brook Road is currently empty once more...I imagine hobos have once again found their way in, like they did before we got the house...I envision the place slowly getting even more gross by the day. Ah, memories. Ah, imagination.)
Anyway, the point I was making was that when it comes to friends, I am so introverted that I really can't make *too* many introverted friends, or else we'll just have "let's be quiet!" get-togethers. I befriend people who are way more outgoing than I am, way more extroverted, often with more brash courage, people who tend to be louder or more popular. It strikes a good balance -- it forces me to be in turn more extroverted (which is healthy for me) and I think we tend to strike a good balance. It's always been that way -- the person I was best friends with for years (still friends now) was way, WAY more extroverted than I was, much louder and more daring, and it worked because she brought out the extroverted side in me, and my natural introvert-ness also helped balance the friendship so we didn't tip over into uncontrolled crazytown. (That isn't to say we didn't come close sometimes anyway...)
I married someone who's incredibly popular with tons of people, and this works for me because I get to tag along and I am forced out of my shell some of the time, but we really do balance each other out. I used to think of myself as more of a sidekick person than a main character sort of person (I mean, everyone wants to think they're more a Sam Gamgee than a Frodo, but still) -- still do, although I'm getting better at being a little louder, a little more outgoing, a little less of acting just like a sidekick.
But the point is....I need that loud goofy sort of being in my life. A cat just wouldn't do. I love order too much to have a cat, it'd just exacerbate my desire for order and calm and self-sufficiency, rather than a dog which sort of dog-ears the edges of those desires (pun not intended originally, but I kept it there, so you decide). Wild grinning sloppy abandon is messy and not orderly at all, but dang if I didn't get a dog that at least still wants to put things in their proper place (silly herding Corgi). So maybe it's a little orderly. But the point is, I will never be a cat-person librarian. I just can't. I need sloppy somewhere.
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[04 Nov 2010|05:20pm] |
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If you have to say, "This is probably too personal, but..." before saying something to me, it probably IS too personal. In this case, when this student continued with "My professor said you used to have really long hair...do you have a picture of you so I can see what it looked like?" I was as polite as possible while declining with an oh, sorry, I don't have any pictures of me with long hair at this computer. They then PERSISTED and asked (CLEARLY not getting the hint) about how long it was. "Pretty long," I said. No, I'm not going to start naming body parts that my hair came down to. (I'm fine doing this on my blog, but in person to a stranger is just different, and in this blog's case, I'm volunteering the info, I'm not being asked about it in a creepy manner. It came down to my hips.) And I'm not going to do that "to here *motions to hip*" thing either -- I'm not pointing to any body parts on command, either.
All of this creepster-ing about my appearance from students (almost always male, including this case) is freaking me out at this point. It's just creepy. I don't care if they don't mean it that way. It comes across that way. Not freaking-me-out as in scaring me so much as making me freak out with frustration.
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[03 Nov 2010|11:08am] |
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Yes, librarians [use] punctuation marks to make little emoticons, smiley and frowny faces in their correspondence, but if there were one for an ironic wink, or a sarcastic lip curl, they'd wear it out.
-"THIS BOOK IS OVERDUE! How Librarians and Cybrarians Can Save Us All" by Marilyn Johnson
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[26 Oct 2010|03:17pm] |
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mood |
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 excited |
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Who's going to the Sound of Music singalong event tonight? DO-RE-MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
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| What do Corgis dream of when they take a little Corgi snooze? |
[12 Oct 2010|02:21pm] |
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mood |
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calm |
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This little guy just warms the cockles of my heart. He's stubborn as heck, but a fast learner, and LOOK AT THE LEETLE LEGS.
Somehow I managed to go to the VCU library this weekend to complete my homework -- really, the homework isn't so bad. I still need to write my second paper, but I've got another two weeks to write those four pages, so I can put that off for a bit longer. There's a group mediagraphy to complete, and a personal mediagraphy topic to choose and get approved...a leadership project to complete (join ALA and YALSA, Do Something with them)...but at least I'm caught up on my discussion group postings, and the homework assignments are basically just treasure hunts for 12 random bits of data in specific reference texts. Typing all this out makes it seem like much more work than it feels like. I should probably get to work on those mediagraphy projects....but.........PUPPY. (I'll get them done.)
I decided on a Halloween costume. I'm totally going as Lowly Worm. (Although considering the addition of the Corgi, and my recent haircut, going as Ed from Cowboy Bebop would also be a viable option.) DECISIONS. Maybe I'll do both....Lowly Worm for the party where I'm not going to have the dog there, and Ed when I'm handing out candy on the front porch. The Fan during Halloween is ALL SORTS OF INSANE since a street closeby is completely shut down for epic-ness and such....so heck yeah I'll be being a boring adult handing out candy...sounds like a good time to me.
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[10 Oct 2010|02:21am] |
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mood |
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( 1 more of Neville Longbottom (and toy eggplant) )
And why yes it IS 2:17 AM......and I'm awake because I can't sleep. And it has nothing to do with Neville, who whimpered a wee bit, then promptly snoozed in his crate at 10pm, and has been silent as a sleeping BRICK all night. I envy him. So, the new puppy is better at sleeping through the night than I am. I am, however, still better at a) steps and b) using my feet
Also, if our short walk to the Shields market down the street and back is any indication, this dog is going to make me a bazillion flobbity-jillion friends. :P
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| No good deed |
[23 Sep 2010|03:57pm] |
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mood |
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 contemplative |
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So, anyone who knows me probably knows that one of my big pet peeves is Locks of Love. As a (former!) person with hair down to my hips, getting asked by strangers or well-meaning people about whether or not I was going to donate it was routine. Mostly it’s not a “will you or won’t you” but rather an assumption of “you ARE going to donate that to Locks of Love, aren’t you?!” in a sort of judgey sort of way. It was annoying, particularly since Locks of Love has been cited by the Better Business Bureau before for not meeting all of the charity criteria, and I disapprove of their lack of correcting the general public on the huge misconceptions about their work. See http://www.nytimes.com/2007/09/06/fashion/06locks.html etc for more on the subject.
My main gripes:
• People (complete strangers often) feeling it’s their business to comment to me about my body, and what they think I should DO with my body, implying that to NOT donate it is VERY terrible
• People telling me to donate to a charity that’s really not the best
So now, after YEARS AND YEARS AND YEARS of railing against the judgments and railing against people commenting on my body and railing against people engaging themselves in my own hair business…..I cut off my hair, and donated it to the Pantene Beautiful Lengths program. And of course as soon as everybody sees that I got my haircut (even the TOLL BOOTH LADY made a comment) the immediate question is “Did you donate it?”
I mostly shrug and say "Yes, but not to LoL." Then I have to explain why. Whatever.
But I’m deeply bothered by the fact that EVERYBODY IS ASKING, and I STILL feel judged, I still feel frustrated that I have to answer to everybody about what I DID WITH MY OWN HAIR.
Honestly, let’s get real here. Donating hair is nice and all, but a lot of the hair is unusable, and in my opinion, donating your hair is a pretty low-key charity thing to do. I’ve done way more strenuous charity work, but somehow, I get SO MUCH PRAISE OH MY GOOOOOD for simply chopping off my ponytail and stuffing it into a baggie and mailing it off. You’d think I actually found the cure for cancer sometimes, the way people gush. Let’s be real. I did diddly squat. My hair grew. This involved zero effort. I slept. I worked. I played. I did schoolwork. I could have sat around on my butt for a few years and gotten the same result. I could have been Rip Van Winkle and have gotten the same result. Donating to a hair charity is easy – at least it was for me, and I was pretty attached to my hair. It is easy, and it gives us warm fuzzies and it’s NOTICEABLE so it’s easy to get attention.
And honestly, I hate it. I hate that I have to answer to everybody about what I did with my body to validate my decision to cut my hair. I hate that I feel like I’m actively reinforcing the idea that donating your hair is the pinnacle of selfless giving (it isn’t) simply because my cut was drastic and epic and therefore gets me attention, which means everybody asks, which means I have to answer. By simply cutting my hair and answering questions honestly, I feel like I’m reinforcing the idea that it’s okay to ask someone what they did with their body, did they conform appropriately to the required charity act, did they do what was expected of them? I’m not saying donating is bad or evil or conformist –- but the pressure to donate and the idea that it’s perfectly fine to endlessly ask others what they’re doing with their body isn’t. Stopping somebody with gorgeous long hair at the farmer’s market to say how lovely their hair is and are they growing it to donate it is NOT OKAY. You may think you’re giving that person the attention they want for donating, and you may be...but you also run the risk of frustrating the hell out of them because maybe they like their long hair and don’t want to be judged for their preference with disapproval. Having long hair does not mean you are morally obligated to donate it – by which I mean I’ve gotten enough of the guilty-looks from people who seem to think if I have long hair, I should be at the salon RIGHT NOW cutting it off to donate it, not just if-I-happen-to-cut-it-I-should-donate-it.
Yes, I donated my hair. I was cutting it anyway. It was a 100% selfish decision, and my decision to donate was simply a “oh, well, I guess this should go to some use” – I wasn’t gonna just throw it away out of spite. But I did not grow out my hair to donate it, and I did not cut it purely to donate it, and cutting it was a vain act on my part that should not garner me such praise simply because after my vain haircut I took my leftovers in a to-go bag. Like….go me, rah rah rah?
Let’s be real. Donating’s great. I’m not saying it’s not great. My intention is absolutely not to say “oh my god don’t donate your hair” -- but it’s also very, very easy (I mean, you might have a hard time growing out your hair time-wise, but I think in the grand scheme of things, growing hair’s pretty painless), and the amount of praise I get for donating mine just seems unreasonable. Maybe it’s because we’re all vain, so we like a charity that encourages us to get a cute haircut, and oh yeah, we get totally noticed for it and therefore get to brag to everyone who comments. And it’s nice that there’s something easy that people can do to help a cause. Easy is good. But I guess what I’m getting at is that while it’s easy and good…the amount of praise is kinda nutsy. It’s a charity act that’s easy and gets you lots of warm fuzzies because you get to brag a lot (nature of the beast: you have long hair and chop it, people WILL notice and comment and ask if you donated...it’s unavoidable to NOT sound like you’re bragging unless you go on a ramble like me).
I’ve done a lot of volunteer work in my time, I’ve donated a LOT of time and effort to community service work (APO!) and yet the thing I get praised for is sitting in a salon and putting my hair in a bag. I don’t want praise for my vanity. It embarrasses me because while others view me as sooooooo selfless or something, I did it for me, not for the kid with alopecia (or cancer, if you like buzzwords...) (was that mean, I didn’t mean it to be mean or condescending, dear audience). I don’t merit praise for that. And I feel bad mutely accepting it. I feel that by accepting the praise (what else can you do when you’re in an elevator and don’t have time to ramble on about why you don’t deserve it?) I am actively spurring on the notion that it’s okay to judge people’s personal bodily decisions, it’s okay to pressure people about their own personal body decisions, and donating hair is a charity act akin to curing cancer single-handedly. (Seriously, the gushing I’ve received...you really would think I’m Dr. Hayley, Curer Of Cancer. Which would be nice, granted...)
So here I am – I felt bad being pressured by strangers for years. And now that I did what is Good (capital G), I feel bad for accepting praise, because my intention wasn’t to DO GOOD, it was to get a haircut.
I don't want to sound so overly critical. I feel like this entry is probably a bit harsh. :-/
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[10 Sep 2010|03:24pm] |
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mood |
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 full |
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If I could drink all of autumn up, I would.
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| We're all mad here |
[10 Sep 2010|01:57pm] |
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mood |
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pensive |
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Politics have been making me heartsick lately. I had a lot more typed up about this. But honestly, I'm just tired. Not just over book-burning, over many things (this, for another example). By all means, people have the right to free speech, and far be it from me to want to silence them, or stop a book-burning by force. But in the same way they've got those rights to say whatever they want, others have the right to sternly condemn such speech and such actions. What Bloomberg says is true: "The First Amendment protects everybody, and you can't say that we're going to apply the First Amendment to only those cases where we are in agreement." And of course there's the whole issue of free speech not meaning free-from-creating-consequences, whether intended or unintended. Mostly, I'm just tired, and I really, truly wish people would be a little more civil, and that the slurs (Libtards, Rethuglicans, etc.) would be replaced with a little more tact and adult debate, and that Americans would be a little more gracious to their fellows, regardless of whether they love their neighbors or not.
On May 10th, 1933 the Nazis burned 25,000 books -- including those written by Jewish poet Heinrich Heine, who had predicted in 1820 that “where books are burned in the end people will burn,” – and eight years later the Holocaust began.
The connection is not too difficult to discern. Books are repositories of histories, of identities, of values. They are the soul of civilization. A society must abandon basic decencies in order to muster the immoral courage to burn books as a celebratory act. Once it starts burning the souls of civilization, human souls will not be left behind.
-Dr. Muqtedar Khan is Associate Professor at the University of Delaware and a Fellow of the Institute for Social Policy and Understanding. full text of essay here
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| Peachy-keen |
[08 Aug 2010|02:34pm] |
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mood |
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 cheerful |
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Spent the morning driving out to Crozet (near Charlottesville) to go peach-picking. They had advertised on the orchard website that it was peach-ice-cream festival weekend. Turns out the festival was basically just a little booth with some homemade ice cream, but I'm not one to complain, as it was quite nice. We opted to go there instead of the Carytown Watermelon Festival that's going on in Richmond today, since it's essentially a billion degrees out, there's no shade, and it's just an entire mass of unruly sweaty people crowded way too close together (often with dogs and big strollers), plus expensive vendors, and a few people selling overpriced watermelon slices in paper bowls. It's just.....not my idea of a good time, really. I'll take a quiet mountain stroll to pick some fresh peaches from a tree over Carytown masses any day.
We're busy packing up all of our stuff to move to the house on Floyd. We donated 3 bags of stuff to Diversity Thrift.....................and then ended up buying a couch there. OOPS. So much for moving less stuff. Still, it's nice to have a real couch, and we'll retire the futon to guest-bed-only use now. We officially have the most hilarious color combinations for a living room:
 
 
(Top left: new couch; top right: comfy armchair
Bottom left: rug; bottom right: coffeetable)
Now, I don't think the couch-rug-coffeetable colors are that dreadful together (I mean, they're a little loud, but they aren't bad) but the comfy armchair sort of throws a "Thanksgiving cornucopia" mood into the mix. But it is a very, very, very comfortable cornucopia.
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